Thursday 31 January 2013

The parasitic growth of underhand sales techniques

You're smiling now ... but wait til the 'stealth bill' arrives!

Grrr ... slightly off topic, but this one angered me.  I bought a product called PC Cleaner Pro last year.  My PC was slow and needed cleaning out.  £25 for a PC cleaner to do the job didn't seem that bad.  It worked brilliantly - I thought, great job.   Anyhow ... I checked my credit card randomly and saw a bill, a year later, for PC cleaner.

Hang on a minute, I already bought that.  Apparently, it a stealth subscription product.  Why?  Is a few updates and some patches worth a whole payment. It's hardly World of Tanks or Warcraft, I haven't noticed any new 'worlds' turn up on the PC cleaner front.  Maybe I don't play it enough, if I really put in the PC Cleaner hours perhaps I could level up and get access to a whole new vista of cleaning products, deep clean areas, eradication missions .... Oh wait ITS A FECKING SPAM CLEANER!

I contacted customer support - only to be met with this: 



Your chat number is 10C-189CF2B3-050D
Chris: I got billed on 26/1/13 for a pc cleaner product I bought last year...
Gio: Hello! Welcome to PC Cleaner live chat! My name is Gio, I will be assisting you today.
Chris: Hi Gio
Gio: Hello! Welcome to PC Cleaner live chat! My name is Gio, I will be assisting you today.
Gio: You can also locate by SafeCart number found in the confirmation email sent to you by safecart following your purchase. The order number will begin with NWPC.
Chris: yes you said that
Gio: I'm sorry for that
Gio: You can check it with our online look-up. https://www.safecart.com/purchase-lookup
Chris: I have no email from you or safecart. I purchased this product last year.
Chris: Why am I being billed again?
Chris: There is no record of my credit card on safecart.
Gio: Please check your safecart if you are enrolled in automatic renewal.
Chris: Is this an annually renewed product?
Gio: Yes
Chris: Why?
Chris: That isn't made clear in the purchase process.
Gio: To disable auto renew please send your request to billing@pc-cleaners.com and they will assist you immediately.@@SPACER
Chris: I don't like this approach ... its underhand.
Chris: The products good, but it feeling like you're stealing money for a product I've already paid for. Do I get anything else for the renewal price?
Gio: It is stated in the terms and condition
Chris: Yeah, fineprint backside cover - real upstanding. You just got screwed because you didn't read every page of the EULA. Never saw that before. Doesn't improve how this feels, does it?
Chris: I like this product, I'd like to use it on multiple computers... that would make it worthwhile. Can I do that?
Chris: Round robin PC maintenance would make the £25 a year worth it.
Gio: One license key one computer policy.
Chris: You're not winning me over are you? You really don't give a damn about your customers do you?
Chris: This is it, take it or leave it. We'll stealth bill you and take your money... and the customer service amounts to 'told you so, hahaha' - cute
Chris: I would like my invoice sending to cd****@****.co.uk, as you are legally obliged to provide. Otherwise I cannot claim the payment and I'll have to bounce your payment as fraudulent and without my consent.
Chris: You have given no notification of an invoice, I have had no notification of your renewal from your 'payment handler' and the payment handler has no record of the charge. Please issue me the invoice.
Gio: Please send your request for refund to our billing department they will just notify you an email the status of your request.
Chris: Will they refund me?
Gio: Yes
Gio: Thank you for contacting PC Cleaner PRO Support, have a nice day!
This live chat session is no longer active

Now there's charm for you eh?

Professional Sales Hat Talk

 So what's wrong with this picture?  I like the product, I would have renewed but the company weren't interested in sales.  They had spent so much money invested in product development, but have a mindset where 'product = auto sales'.  By shying away from the price (a common problem and something to be learnt), they opted for underhand payment tactics, ass covering T&C's and poor sales approach.  The 'customer service' (STOP SNIGGERING AT THE BACK) guy had an easy response for me, here it is:

"We're really sorry that the subscription came as a surprise, it is in the terms and conditions, but some of our customers have missed that.  As a conciliatory gesture, would you be happy if we enabled your account to work on another computer?"

Cost to them - none.  Value to me - I get to keep the product I like and feel I'm getting 'special treatment'.  Value to reputation - priceless.

I may have been writing a better review.

Tuesday 15 January 2013

The Clash of two of my greatest loves....

No, before you ask, the Wife isn't rug-wrestling with Salma Hayek, slight detour to daydream....

Where was I, oh yes - check this out.

And for those who can't be bothered to click on the linkylink.

LEGO PANTHER TANK! .... Love.

Monday 7 January 2013

Boxing up and Packing Away

Conversion with my three and a half year old called Ptol:

Ptol: What you doing Daddy?
Daddy: I'm packing away my tanks.
Ptol: Why?
Daddy: We need to tidy up because we're trying to sell the house and I don't play with them anymore.
Ptol: [pause for thought] I like your tanks Daddy.
Daddy: I know Ptolemy, and when you're bigger we'll get them out and play them together, 'cause you're a little bit too little at the moment.
Ptol: Yeah ... I like playing with your tanks...
Daddy: Uh-huh.
Ptol: When I bigger we can play with your tanks.
Daddy: Uh-huh.  When you get to eight?
Ptol: When I big, I play tanks.
Daddy: Yup.

EBAY - you lose.