Why driving 750miles in a day is a good idea?

Late last night caught this ... Elven Quest!

Elvenquest 1

Elvenquest 2

Elvenquest 3

Elvenquest 4

Elvenquest 5

Elvenquest 6

Not really original (Legend of Neil anyone?), but amusing nonetheless!

Combating Real life (TM)

It's a REALLIFE (TM) Hot-Dog ... oh but that's just so hilarious ... who would have thought of that ... SHOOT ME NOW!

Real Life (TM) ... annoying how it gets in the way, isn't it. Work has gone supremely bonkers for this week and last week and with a holiday looming (coming down your end again Drax!) in mid June ... I'm struggling to find room between all the fence painting DIY, table building, IT supporting, car booting, cocktail shaking oh and yeah ... quoting, supplying, servicing, installing and commissioning at work.

My family's gotta fit somewhere in all that mix as well ... but a challenge is a challenge. To recap, I'm under obligation to spruce up my Guardsmen ready for BlogWars on the 5th June.

• I spent a fortune (a whole £8) in the local stationary store on an awesome army box with built in pen tray (which fits all my dudes above my tanks ...FTW!)
• I've converted Pask with multi-pistol blasting action ... but my 2YO son broke him ... 1 night to finish him and his tank.
• I've based all the normal dudes ... some touching up is required ... 1 night.
• Basing all the Heavy weapons teams ... 1 night.
• Sexing up the HWTs... 1 night.
• converting the tanks ... bombs on the Basilisk, etc etc... 2 nights.
• Sexing up the tanks ... 2 nights.

So that's eight nights work to get together ... if I can find the energy, I effective have 14 days to do this in.

So the objective this week ... tart up the boys, finish Pask and convert the tanks.

LIST: Wacky Tyranid List!

Ok, so this is a little outside the box, but bare with me...

90 Prime, 2x Boneswords
90 Prime, 2x Boneswords
110 Venomthrope x 2
150 HiveGuard x 3
150 HiveGuard x 3
195 Tervigon (AG and TS), Catalyst
195 Tervigon (AG and TS), Catalyst
50 Gaunts x 10
50 Gaunts x 10
90 Rippers x 9
60 Spore Mines x 6
60 Spore Mines x 6
60 Spore Mines x 6
135 Biovore x 3
135 Biovore x 3
135 Biovore x 3

18 Spore Mine Clusters get deployed before your opponent regardless of who goes first ... this gives you the opportunity to completely mess with their deployment in Dawn of War as they cannot set up within 18" of you. So you can potentially force them towards you or off the board entirely. In Spearhead, your spores can form a distraction within the ranks, or a cover save for your approaching troops. This also gives you ploys for dealing with reserves by parking near the edge.

After this the Biovores will hit anything in the open with S4 pinning big blasts... which can quickly add up. Misses are MORE SPORE MINES floating about.

The Primes escort the Hive Guard Forward, pumped with FNP from the Tervigons and gaining a 5+ from the Venomthropes... The tervigons mass produce while the barrage continues.

It's not pretty, it probably wouldn't work - but it would be more chaotic than anything i've ever seen!

Stylish Blogger ... who me?

Passing something forward is all about sharing the love. The 40k Blogosphere is a small and mettled place. My 'Darling' Drax has said some nice things about me and put me at the top of his list ... warm fuzzy glow time boys - look away! As such, part and parcel of the ole Viral spam is to pay the compliment forward and make sure everytone knows who's getting the love from Suneokun (yeah, like a damn dog humping your leg!)...

So first up the bio, Seven things about me:

1. I run my own company in very serious stuff.
2. I work very hard from home (and hence blogging is brilliant!).
3. I have two kids (2&3) and got married to their beautiful mother in a marquee last year.
4. I have an 1975 'lightweight' military landrover.
5. I drive 30k+ miles a year (clearly not in the antique landie ... that would be silly and somewhat pricey)
   
6. I studied International Relations (which is like advanced pub talk) at University - don't get me started on global politics!
7. I've been told that I am an amazing dancer (I have a lot of confidence on the dancefloor) ... I CAN salsa as well ... but can never remember the cool funky moves I''ve been taught.
   

In a highly intentional order is the following:

1. Anton @ The Anarchy of Anton: My partner in blogging crime in the Leicestershire area and a biblical painter with a busy life, too much free cash and a 'plastic crack' habit to shame all. Check him out. A sharer of my secret identity.
   
2. Ras (Ah Gul - obviously) @ The Deathworlders ... another convert to the crime of converting the world to All Infantry Guard sporting shed loads of mortars ... FTW. Spectacular painter and top bloke, he's writing better than some of those colonials out there - in his second language.
   
3. Sholto @ Incunablog: a surefire source of Tau and Malifaux goodness, he's also a bit of a charmer on the responses.
4. Old Shatter Hands at the Tau of War. Not only has he taught me more hands down about playing Tau, but he's also got into Infinity - good man! He writes a mean article and his blogs dead pretty.
5. A big shout out to Darkwing @ Arcadia Prime ... he's taken a bit of a backseat from 40k, but his is still one of the best back catalogues of 40k batreps and tactics out there.
6. Allie @ Hyperbole and a Half: Off the beaten track and totally surreal. This very attractive young woman writes frankly some of the funniest stories ... no 40k - but just genius. If it appeals and makes you laugh - log her, she's real value.
7. Graeme @ Graeme's Fantasy Book Review - has a reading life I envy. He holds one of the best back-catalogues of Black Library reviews around and I'm yet to be disspointed by his recommendations. I also won a book from one of his giveaways - yeah!
8. Danny Internets at Bald and Screaming, he writes really smart articles. He's popular enough, but I'm never dissapointed with his material. Top notch.
9. JabberJabber at Warpstone Flux, he's a really nice guy, but has a cunning plan ... he writes monthly armylist challenges - I've won a few and thoroughly enjoy the interesting ideas he comes up with. Great guy too.
10. Finally Adam @ Warhammer Tau, another guy who's gone into retirement until the new codex is released ... but a fab blog nonetheless.

Go check them out ... one and all!

Oh look - Crisis Suits!

For those of you who haven't actually seen this - it's pure unadulterated PG awesomesauce! Now that's what a Shas'El training ground looks like!

HAWKEN TRAILER

HAWKEN BATTLESUIT FPS

BLOG WARS??? Sign me up!

For all you UK bloggers, check out the following:

I'm using this as an excuse to catch up with Drax and put names and faces to Corbane and others... that's my excuse!

Poll - Shelf to table ratio.

Is it a shelf or is it a table ... nice work John Green - I'm confused!?!

It's a little bit funny ... this feeling inside...

Ah ... dash and bother, I might get very excited about Infinity - it is a very exciting game, but there's gotta be something said for leafing through a 40k Codex and considering the options. I'm a very lucky man. If we take stock of the last 3 years, I've amassed a metric tonne of plastic men for my own amusement.

The funny thing is that while Infinity hasn't made me ebay all my 40k, it has taken me away long enough to realise the attraction and distraction that being steeped in the 40k Universe is.

It's really very very clever.

Anyhoo ... I've painted up 40 models for infinity, which I got at half price and they are gorgeous. So ...win! To put that in context, I did a quick jot up on the Infinity army builder and it amassed over a 1000pts of minis.

Since your average game is 300pts - that's brutal, and got me thinking. How many times the average list strength is a healthy 'variety' in 40k.

For myself I run the following (assuming 1500pts as my 'average' game size):

3 x Haqqislam (Infinity)

4 x Imperial Guard

2 x Tau

2 x Tyranids

1.5 x Chaos Space Marines

Some players like a 'complete' set, one of everything in the codex (although that can be a pricey combination these days), others like to buy ONE army list and then learn that inside out. My growing army is a mixture of model craving and wanting to 'discover' new tactics for myself.

So where do you sit, put your opinions to posterity on the poll next door... What's your shelf to table ratio?

The love that dare not speak its name...

I is just like saying nothing about these too, that is like disgusting man ... innit!

Prefix

Just a quick aside ... gaming is ensuing apace, but unfortunately not on the 40k side. As you may have noticed from the previous posts, Infinity has grabbed my attention this year, and I fully intend to make 2011 the year of the small skirmish games, with Infinity and Malifaux topping the pick of the pops, pop-pickers!

As such I've been busy painting up a whole series of Infinity Haqqislam models, with photo's to follow (as soon as I've thought through the final touches on the paint scheme AND the basing...)

Back On The Subject ... and the only one in the village?

Back when I was at school in the 80's and the 90's, the title of this piece would have solely been the regard of the most alienated kid in the Derbyshire School. The gay ones.

Nowadays (thank goodness), the UK has moved away from wholesale discrimination of Gay men and Lesbians and its a lot nicer place for it. That's not to say that it still doesn't go on, but any aggression is usually propagated by the same group who are also inherently racist and sexist, so clearly they like to collect a full set of prejudices.

Main stream gay men like John Barrowman and Graham Norton are BBC talent and the nation as a whole accepts Stephen Fry as the national treasure he is, things are pretty good. It may be different where you live, but the UK has a long and progressive history of either hating or loving our gay icons... just check out Gruber from 'Allo 'Allo.

Either way, the result for double-entendres has a special place in an Englishman's heart, even if at the time we were as homophobic as the next country!

And the relevance to wargaming...

Well, it polarises, doesn't it. Some people are infinitely interested, while others look at you aslant with somewhat akin to a complete destruction of their interior perception of you and your credibility. Perhaps this changes elsewhere, but my 'small plastic men' are a topic which must be handled carefully ... and with tact. In the past I've found myself not joining in communications with less scrupulous uber-geeks as I am neither familiar with the company and keen to make a good impression ... not unlike Gruber above it's best to speak in code.

Why is this? Why should I feel shame at the prejudice of others? Alas, I have discovered that people are quite happy to use 'toy soldiers' in a derogatory way and belittle me. I'm successful, have a beautiful family and a very happy life and great business.

How odd?

Being a 'geek' has never been more fashionable, yet if I admitted to playing chess, I'd be considered an intellect. But I see something else in (some of) their eyes when I admit to wargaming. As such I have formulated the following table of socially acceptable geekidioms...

Geek Scale of Cooldom (an Oxymoron if ever I heard one)

• Harry Potter and ilk, Stardust, Startrek, Starwars etc (totally mainstream)
• Computer Games on a TV based platform (mainstream)
• Computer gamer on PC (bit more geeky)
• Call of Duty Online player (totally normal - working class)
• World of Warcrafter (opposite - very geeky, and danger danger, your life will disappear!)
• Hacking = cool, but/because illegal
• Programmer = largely dull, except if you design online/iphone games
• iphone games = mainstream
• Wargaming = GEEEEEEEK ALERT
• LARPing (Live Action Roleplay) = even I run away screaming at this stage, completely fucking weird!
• Cosplay - I used to live in Japan, I speak Japanese - cosplay is weird, Japanese people have a particular weird subset that is explained by BEING JAPANESE. Westerners who copy them are beyond weird...

...Rant over.

EPIPHANY!

Perhaps I should introduce my passion thus: "Infinity? Oh it's a bit like chess, but not so basic." He shoot's, he scores!

What's your experience, your feedback and your friends (non gaming) appreciation of wargaming? WII's, PS3 and XBox are now so mainstream my mother owns one, but somehow 'wargaming' is still in the geek-fringe (very straight, with pimples below). Why? Am I in a hole, along, quietly cradling my plastic crack habit and weeping softly?

Throw me a line here!

Passion for the Plastic

Brilliant Picture taken from CAUSE MARKETING, an interesting blog on charity/business cross polination marketing, if you're interested... but a cool photo nonetheless.

Apologies to all for my extended absense. Life (and work especially) is vibrantly frantic at the moment. This leaves me with little time to lift a brush, play a wargame, or attempt a blog post. To cap it all, I've got a BIG battle report and a game development synopsis in the 'half done' editing list on my blog creation list.

This has resulted in serious constipation in the writing area, as I drift back to these monstrous blog write-ups. Simply put - there's too much on and something's got to give, and currently its my blog rate.

Now is a very busy time, as will be September (and maybe October too) ... but as the colleges and Universities go back to servicing their students and stop buying my company's equipment ... life may return to normal. The R&D (8 months worth) is complete, the new product is on the wall (literally, yesterday, I was involved), and hopefully life will be returning to normal...

Hopefully.

So nothing much to write about on the GW side, but to contemplate the following query ... we've all experienced the 'cycle' of wargaming. The flux and flow of an obsession (and really it is isn't it ... these are small plastic men after all) waxes and wanes* as the years pass. Certainly I've found that since being unable to play, or paint, or blog about W40k ... I've found myself less 'obsessive' on the subject. This worries me, but also encourages me to engage with my hobby with a passion normally held up for the couple in the dying throws of a relationship.

I'm sure my interest will peak again and I'm simply 'out of the zone' for the moment. The mistakes on the blog (losing the discus history for example) broke my rhythm and I'm now struggling to get back the old mojo. This combined with many many days on the road building business have palled my passion into a mewling form of its previous peak.

That said, I can see the moment when my Alpha Legion troops march on the enemy - but keeping it fresh is always a challenge. I could always attempt new games systems, but I'm loath to 'widen' my already burgeoning budget for plastic crack.

Perhaps a hiatus is exactly what the doctor ordered. A break to remind me on what I'm missing, the only concern is that I might not actually miss it that much...

NO, I MUST CLING TO THE PLASTIC CRACK.

Lol. Perhaps a Apocalyse game is what I need? So there's a quick glimpse into the brain of 'moi' and my current crisis of faith with the old plastic crack. As has been said before:

"Help me [Entername], you're my only hope!"**

What's your experience? Are you constant in your gaming passion? Have you had moments of doubt and pain? Come on lads, share it out... get me through this!

Please...

____________________________

* Waxes and Wanes ... I'm not sure about everyone else, but don't both these words sounds debilitating? I 'know' that waxes means grow, but since when did wax grow, it melts? You catch my drift...

** According to a recent interview I heard, George Lucas' original script was pretty 'clunky' and needed significant 'massaging' into the clipped statacco which boils over the internet like a plethora of adolescent excretions. That said, can anyone even remember a quote from the 'new' starwars... I got more one liners from Galaxy Quest***

*** Which if you haven't seen, then shame, shame, shame ... buy or rent it now.

Back in the game ... one month on.

Thanks to all the loyal viewers who've glanced sadly across at their blogroll as the might that was pathfinder has drifted further and further down your blogrolls.

Service is now resumed. Blog is restored. Disqus is mortally wounded and reset. Life is coming back to the old limbs.

A Honeymoon and technical catastrophe ... (damn you blogger... shakes fist dramatically) has led to the complete loss of ALL historical comments. Which er ... sucks.

Still, the blog still lives and the important thing is that Pathfinder and Suneokun are back in the game. I was heartened to see the number of poll entries in my absense. Clearly you all have a strong idea that my tactics rule ... yeah right.

Anyhow, Batrep is going into production tomorrow. All the photo's are prepped and ready. Also, I've got planned a VERY VERY SPECIAL battle report... something very nostalgic and wonderful.

There's a subtle hint ... somewhere on this posting???

OMFG ... I've lost Disqus!

Arggghhhh ... I've lost disqus. Randomly choosing a 'nice' template to tryout has killed my commenting system full stop. This sucks badly and must be blogged about.

Register your distate by voting in my poll for the next batrep ... since no other commenting method will work.

Arggggh!

Pathfinder "inter-blog-web-thingie" - 200 posts in.

100 followers, 200 posts - when did that happen?!?

Good grief, that snuck up on me! Due to insane business (oh and getting married, never a low-key undertaking) in May and June, I've stumbled - blinded and bleeding - across the line of my 200th post!

In just under 2 years, I've lost friends from 40k (My brother ... Devilin) and gained others (Anton and Spence to name a couple ...although they're not actually an item, but you get my meaning...), collaborated with Ron at FromTheWarp and put faces to online names (here's to you Mr. and Mrs. Drax).

My war gaming has gone from a dining table habit to a weekend wonder. I've played in doubles tournaments, APOC games, Battle Missions, Planetstrike, Hordes ... and my enjoyment of war gaming has blossomed ...

I've also come to terms with my 'embaressment' at being apart time uber-geek. Certain wargamers still scare the bejesus out of me ... but wargaming tends to attract the extreme ends of asbergers intended individuals, and that's cool... just don't ask me to hang with you while you're doing your velociraptor impression ... as a bell-curve, these guys (and girls, yes girls ... I know - its truly terrifying) populate a small percentage of the population.

The wargaming fraternity I've met have been welcoming, intelligent, erudite and very very funny... doesn't count for everywhere, but my experience has been overwhelmingly positive.

Finally, and not the least. I'm touched that so many people find pleasure in the innane drivel and detailed batreps I pound out for your entertainment. The combo of 40k, my club and the online environment has been a particularly potent mix. So thanks to all the commenters, visitors and followers who've stuck around with me in the last two years...

Stick around, thing's are getting interesting!

What's next?

Well Chaos Marines are itching for their first coat of paint .. and I have rhino's to buy and build. Malifaux's itching at the edges and there's some final Imperial Guard models to do. My 40k experience is far from over ... but its edging towards the banal ... except "SPEARHEAD"... time to roll out the tanks!

Shout Out to a Buddy - Spense/Spin/The Undercoater...

Just a quick post to 'big-up' my mate Spense ... who has finally succumbed to the tinterweb and started a blog. Alike to Anton (my mad, frenzied painting buddy), Spense is ex-GW staff. Unlike Anton, his nickname is 'the undercoater' because he rarely (if ever) has painted anything, ever.

He does however have a pile of interesting ideas about the wargaming scene ... although he bitches about the loss of 4th edition SOOOO much! Check out Spense's ramblings here:

THE ORACLE

It's all gone a bit Midkemia?!?

Spearhead ... you what?

Grab yourself a cup of tea, turn the brain on,

and prepare to delve into the nefarious minds of GW...

What's GW up to? Apart from trying to ship more plastic crack (that's a given), it seems a little unclear. Alike to other bloggers, I usually eschew the expensive advertising that is White Dwarf and get my kicks from the tinterweb... however the new Spearhead release had me (and I suspect a lot of gamers) sneaking into WH Smith's for a sneaky Dwarf.

My excuse was that "I'd been asked to pick up" - and hence why I couldn't find it on the shelves... what's your?

SPEARHEAD - First Impressions

Well, its a bit odd really isn't it? Apart from the aforementioned plastic crack reasoning it pretty much grabs the whole 40k armylist rules, shakes it about and then drop kicks it into next week. As far as I can ascertain (and this is written in the best GW 'vague-o-vision'), you can run a 'Spearhead' game and thereby take 1 or more (read more) spearheads, which allow you to take many many many many tanks, with APOC type squadron upgrades.

Interesting? Yes. Weird? Definitely!

On first glance, I like it. It's weird, but quirky. It's cleverly bridging the gap between APOC and 40k. Allowing Superheavies on the small scale etc. We've mostly been doing this anyway, but this legitimises it.

If you were expecting a more in depth analysis than that, well sorry, no. I'm far too busy and have Malifaux to learn for Tuesday. Apologies ... but here's the payback.

SPEARHEAD ... BATTLE MISSIONS ... KILL TEAM ... REGRESSION

A few years ago I was a steady user of forums. IGMB (Imperial Guard Message Board) was literally hunted down by the ubiquitous suneokun, and at the time the 'we've git a crap codex' was in full flow. But I digress... another comment discussion which frequently comes up but online and live is the 'rosy tint' argument. "40k ain't what it was", they say. "Good." I say, "The psychic round was more like a pokemon battle, every round lasted an age and remembering everyone stats (like MOVEMENT, INTELLIGENCE etc) was deadly dull. Too much information.

And running, TLOS and cover saves rock.

But I do miss the 'story' of 40k. The rules had become maybe too balanced while the codexes got dull. Since then two things have happened:

1) Codex release has increased ... but codex creep has too, and;

2) APOC has demonstrated that fair doesn't always equal fun!

There's something particularly British about the notion of a fair fight. Just ask Michael Caine in Zulu, no scrub that. Or the Crimean, no not that one either. Ummm ... the second World War, we Brits love to think ourselves plucky and backs to the walls and 'fighting on bridges' etc.

All cobblers really. But we are obsessed about 'fair play', hence why the English codified nearly every mainstream sport in existence. Cricket, football (not gridiron), rugby, tennis, badminton, crochet, golf etc etc etc. Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair... which is good.

If I was allowed a machine gun, even I could beat Nadal (alright ... I could wing him). Just look at Formula One, an intrinsically English sport. Ok, its more international than anything else (although Button, webber and Lewis are kicking butt), but the mindset is very English. Cars get too fast, slow them down, cars get an advantage, chop it off ... its all about skill.

Which is where it should be.

But 40k ain't tennis. It requires little physical training (watching youtube batreps speaks volumes... the skinny dude always gets pawn'd!) beyond beer drinking and fine hand-eye coordination. Hence the 'britishness' (or englishness) of 40k has led with a high focus on 'level playing field'. Now I'm not arguing that 40k is balanced, no no no. It has many problems, but the ruling ethos is very much focused on keeping balance in the game.

A slight loophole and the players scream "BROKEN!" - I won't even go into how many guns can fire from a chimera (it's 5 by the way, any gun I want, even lascannons). This commentary on 40k balance has become more and more feverish ... until GW stopped listening.

Allesandro did (I think) a great job with the 5th Edition rules. It's a neat system and great fun. But it was born old. You see the Ethos has changed. The old rule was 'fair', the new rule is 'fun'.

This is influenced by three things:

1. Hordes and Warmachine ARE balanced, but the combo's are all about pimp-slapping your opponent in turn two to three... the hyper aggressive american influence frankly rocks. The game system is dynamic and intricate in a way that makes GW seem a little 'stilted' ... GW are aware of this and the march of Hordes/WM on the interweb and sales figures...
2. Apocalypse demonstrated to GW that players actually care LESS about fairness than they do about getting the latest pimped out superheavy or squadron. Fairness IS important in a tournament, but if you go there with a 'weak' list you'll get bitch slapped.
3. Fairness doesn't sell models. Build cool models, make a bitchin' list, watch the money pile up. GW are heavily into the 'plastic crack' version of an arms race now. Models will hit the shelves and hit them harder than the previous generations ... codex creep is here to stay. The Space Wolves/ Blood Angels are clear and unequivocal examples of their fast production turn around UBER PIMPED codeci money making plans.

So what does this mean? Well actually it means that GW of the teenies (2010-2019, what would you call them?) will actually be closer to the GW of my childhood ... and here's why!

SUNEOKUNS GW W40K PREDICTION 2010-2019

First up, the interweb has chewed out whitedwarf's monopoly of GW related stuff. It's faster, more up to date, nearly as official and actually more effective. The hype generated for the latest edition and the codici's was all about the web. GW are tied into this now, feeding information to BOLS and elsewhere and pricking the hype to feverpitch. WD doesn't deliver this.

The only readers of WD are those with that habit. Otherwise why bother?

As such, Spearhead gives a wonderful indication of how they CAN increase sales of WD and the first 'step backwards' for 40k. In the olden days (1980's-90's) batreps were rare, but WD was all about rules, stories and inspiration. An article the size dedicated to Spearhead and 6 new tanks available would be waxed about ONE new metal cadian SQUAD available. Woop!

On the up side, rules for 'Confrontation', or Genestealer Cults, or new vehicles would be a frequent addition. This 'build your own' stuff meant that WD was an essential part in keeping your army fresh and getting the latest Psychic abilities for Ork Weirdboyz. GW lost this years ago, changing from fan mag to pretty advertising (and pretty pointless) magazine. An OK read, but no tactical use (beyond a rolled up striking action).

Now we see a full circle ... which is intriguing.

My second point is GW's abandonment of 'balance' in favour of fun. The Orks, Guard, SW, BA all pushed the bar out on counter-balance. There's an arms race going on out there and its real fun. 40k is now less about fairness and more about fun. Lets face it, 40k is half a game (read sport) and half a narrative or story. We're seeing a 'healthy' move towards the 'narrative' flavour of 40k. I don't actually really care that much if my Tau are rock solid, but if I beat you with them ... you'll know!

So what do you think? Is 40k soaring away from the balanced 'tabletop' game and back to basics with the more 'RPG' narrative elements of the game. Battle Missions was straight out of Rogue Trader ... are they fabricating these elements to rock the old 'fairness' boat? Spearhead effectively throws the core 40k army list rules away and buffs everything ... but it'll be fun, won't it?

Is the obsession with balance over?

Nothing to post in two weeks?

I found this excellent strip online and

reference lee-wilson.net ... but it's not what you expect!

No, dearly beloved reader and true believer ... I have not wandered from the holy path.

(but I did squeeze in my stag do and a huge wedding in the past fortnight!)

That's right, Suneokun is now a married man!

No more skulking in the shadows, living in sin (alright, that bits quite fun!) and avoiding the vicar at tea for me*.

I'm a fully paid up member of the 'ticked all the boxes' group (although they were ticked in the 'engaged-mortgage-kid1-kid2-f*ck it (no ... did that) lets get married' kinda way).

Huge party in a Marquee in a field and muchas alcohol, band, inflatables etc and all my friends (some of them even know where I live!).

A top bank holiday weekend!

...

*I still instantly combust on Holy ground though ... something about my atheism!

Rules Check 1...2...1...2...

An excellent HULKSMASH by MAURICIO HERRERA. Check out Mauricio's work at DeviantArt. Reproduced without permission, will be removed on request.

Have you ever had a game where you've got the rules right all the way through ... where you just missed things, or your sub-conscious did a special on you, and you realised that you spent most of the game moving and firing everything at the enemy ... I have, many many many times.

I wouldn't call it out and out cheating (although I know some movement fudgers who practice the above as art forms...) but somehow our little brains get 'set'. We end up fighting against the dying of the light over the most obvious and bizarre interpretation of a clearly written rule...

... Weird innit?

Now my approach ... it should be said, is to be fairly pedantic about the rules. I'm a bit of a stickler for sticking to them. I want to win on the merits of my tactics and armylist and its exploitation ... as well as some lucky dice rolls. I generally let the grey areas slide for the ease of play ... and importantly I'm more about having fun than winning... but is that's true, why do I commit the above sins? Perhaps its the inner HULK ... creating a better playing environment through the subversion of my subconsciousness. A case of 'HULK CHEEEEAT!'. Maybe?

Here's a selection of some of those 'rules' arguments or hypocrisies that beggar belief:

Firing Ordnance Weapons

In an effort to improve my '5th Edition' gameworthyness (and because I've read all my codeci 10 times over now), I've started rethumbing through the main rule book. In a moment of shock I realised that I'd been cheating in the last 'n' games (where n is the number of games that I'd been cheating in)... when a vehicle fires an ordnance weapon it can fire NO OTHER WEAPON THAT TURN (NB: Even defensive weapons are unable to fire ... Pg 58)! The exception is the Leman Russ ... that can fire its main weapon AND one other weapon. I'd been dakka dakka-ing away quite happily with everything I had!

This makes a huge difference to the way I play and the options I usually roll with. As an Imperial Guard Player it also gave me a huge advantage to shoot everything (dah?). I think what had happened was my 'cheat-HULK' had got the movement rules confused with the ordnance rules (easy to happen if you are green and a bit thick) ... and assumed the 'not firing all weapons' was down to the movement and not the huge massive great Demolisher Cannon firing...

Clearly, my reanalysis of the rules makes for some interesting thoughts, and makes tanks like the annihilator and punisher leman russ (let alone the no-cover-save variant) much more tempting....

Infantry Cover Saves

This one is weird. I ended up on the wrong side of half the club over this one. And even when the rule was read objectively and digested, I had a number of 'unconnected' gamers arguing against the very rule.

The rulebook clearly states "When any part of the target model's body (as defined on page 16) is obscured from the point of view of the firer, the target model is in cover." So if the toe of my rough riders is hidden behind a piece of hill - they get a 4+ cover save. This caused absolute uproar ... but I'm right (I know I am ... CHEAT-HULK says I am!)

The rulebook then goes on to say ... "This is intentionally generous, and it represents the fact that the warrior, unlike the model, will be actively trying to take cover..."

This is different from the 50% of the unit in cover ... or Monstrous Creatures and tanks gaining cover saves (50% or more of the unit hidden by the way ... I checked it ... I know, I'm too kind!) but somehow people couldn't disconnect the actual 'true line of sight' from the metaphoric 'model'.

50% of a unit in cover

This one also throws up weird 'HULK CHEAT!' moments. I have 75% of a unit obscured behind a wall (don't panic HULKERS, it a solid and relatively high wall!) then that unit has a 4+ cover save. Yes? Yes! If 51% of the unit is in cover ... then they all get a normal cover save!

If you can't decide (ie its exactly 50/50, or you can't count to 10) then you may 'choose' to forgo your proper cover save for one with -1. IE 5+ instead of 4+. My fellow club members had apparently adopted this as THE RULE (HULK) ... rather than taking it as guidelines for adoption based upon mutual consent. Even the rulebook is fairly fluffy, indicating that this option is .... 'faster (albeit less precise)' ... so a good option?

Weird...

Barrage Weapons

This one I get big time. Barrage weapons fire indirect, so the cover save is dictated from the centre of the template, NOT the firing position (ie through the trees on the way in). If you can see the target AND are firing indirect, you gain BOTH the templatie explodie benefit AND the minus BS to hit reduction.

I love mortars. I use them a lot and my explanation of this rule is well versed. That said, I found myself on the receiving end of a barrage recently and was half into a 'hang on a minute...' moment when I realised what I was saying.

It doesn't feel fair. At all.

Charging into cover

Can't wait for the arguments over this one. Check out the brilliant breakdown at Maunderings of a 40k player ... this ruleset has become more important since flesh-hooks (frag grenades) were dropped in the Nid army. Now players facing nids can expect to 'hit first' when defending from cover. This gives them a significant chance of chumping the genestealers or hormagaunts before nastiness ensues. As such ... it can become a contentious area.

Simply put (as Dverning confirms) ... if you have any models sticking out of that cover, the attacker can opt to charge that model without resorting to a difficult terrain test (DTT). No DTT, no Initiative 1 - you are all kinds of red red gravy!

At this point, many players 'HULKs' will be writhing. How can this be true. Surely you must charge into and onto me in cover and therefore I should batter you down. Check out the breakdown from maunderings ... its convincing.

The Rough Rider Effect

Sometimes a rarely used unit comes along and attracts a little attention. In one game, my opponent was running Assault Marines at me. I charged in my 'one-shot' rough riders. He'd been playing alongside me in a doubles tournament and seen these guys kill termies, smurf bikers and Tau Crisis suits ... he should have known better.

PENFOLD: "Assault Marines, Initiative 4"

Suneokun: "Roughriders, Initiative 5"

PENFOLD: "But strength 3..."

Suneokun: "Strength 5"

PENFOLD: "But power armour..."

Suneokun: "Power weapons"

PENFOLD: "...in cover?"

Suneokun: "Frag grenades"

PENFOLD: "HUUUUULLLLKKK CHEEEEAAATTT!"

My two squads of 55pt roughriders charged 22 inches and killed 6 assault marines. The assault marines beat the rough riders, but they held them up for one more turn before being killed off. At which point my Leman Russ had zero'd them. Kaboom?

Allocating Rerolls by accident

I'll put this down (mostly) to the new tyranid codex. The codex has a lot of random rerolls and autowounds bouncing around. The rending rules are complimented by blinding venom (auto-wound on a 6 to hit), one scything talon (reroll 1's), two scything talons (reroll all misses), preferred enemy (reroll misses, but not against vehicles), special rending (deathleaper rending on a 5 or 6), impregnation (parasite cause D6 ripper bases on a failed toughness test) and so on and so on.

As Space Wolf players will attest, it's difficult to remember which dice you have to reroll and which you don't... tricky.

In one game I attributed scything talons to the parasite (who has rending claws) and forgot to autowound from all the 6's from the gargoyle charge on Pedro Kantor (they died!) ... it's awfully confusing.

Great player arguing that the tail of a Vendetta was not part of its 'hull'

This particular fraccar occured during a brilliant tournament game where my aforementioned PENFOLD and I hammered a dirty Space Marine and Guard list with our brilliant Space Marine and Guard list. Effectively it was our mortars and terminators versus their Vendettas and Smurf Bikers (filthy cheating min-max army list ... pah!).

During the game an ordnance battle cannon shot scattered off the centre of one vendetta and hit a perfect strike on the tail of its accompanying skimmer. At this point my opponent declare this a 'miss' as it hadn't hit the 'hull' of the vendetta and 'wings and tail don't count' ... hang on a minute...

HUUUULLLLLKKKK CHEEEAAAATTT!

The conversation that followed was bizarre and entertaining. And pulled adjacent players off their own tournament games ... it was intense. I found myself in the minority again (IT IS probably just me ... people do enjoy arguing with me ... probably cause its great intellectual fun (and not because I'm an arse ... honest!)) with my fellow gamers arguing the difference between a hull and a wing and a tail. I pointed out that there is actually no 'hull' on an aircraft. There is a fuselage, wings and a tail ... the hull refers to the whole vehicle. The rulebook bears no interest in whether you are running a tank or a plane ... they both have hulls!

This stumped everyone, but in true hulky fashion, they would not give way to the logic of Bruce Banner. We rolled a 4+, and he saved the penetrating/wrecked roll. We played on. I'd like to think that the 'Gods of fairness and equilibrium' looked kindly on my plight ... cause we hammered them to death with small arms fire and won 12/4.

Conclusion

We all have a little of a mini-hulk inside us ... and wargames is the perfect place to go green (better than over your job, girlfriend, car, house or children anyhow!) ... I hope the above examples have amused you and help you know.

For you are not alone. HULK.

Banner making for friends

Just a quick post ... after my recent blog on painting/making banners, I felt I better put my money where my mouth is...

Both Anton and Drax commented about doing banner and as good friends of them both I decided that I'd undertake to build them a banner each ... I little forward? Yes! However it perfectly demonstrates the examples I was trying to make...

In both cases I trawled their blogs for suitable source material, luckily both Drax and Ant paint splendid models so it wasn't long before I found this on Drax's site:

And this on Ant's 'Too Much Metal' blog:

Then it was just a case of letting my imagination (and some serious photo editing software) rip on them both...

Here's the results:

CLICK FOR A LARGER IMAGE

CLICK FOR A LARGER IMAGE

Adventures of Commissar Tighthat - Combat Tactics 101

Just a quick one to raise a smile on a Tuesday morning...

Taking you back to 1992...

My new (old) Valhallans in all their glory
(yes there are actually ten, but the others are waiting their paint..)

As the New Year rolls by, my birthday follows on quite quickly. The combination of a third consequtive 'Christmas discovery' this year and my increasing age (and subsequent dementia) has me harking back to 1992.

Now for many wargamers, 1992 is an important year (especially if you happen to be 18!), but for relative veterans, 1992 was a watershed year for me. It was the year I 'stopped' 40k and started chasing girls/working for A'levels and playing computer games big-time ... here's why.

FILMS

1992 saw the launch of Quentin Tarantino onto the main scene, Reservior Dogs wasn't as groundbreakingly influnential over me as 'Pulp Fiction' - but it issued in a new era in film (and the deathknell of the 80's style hero movie). This era would eventually be swallowed up by the special effects monsters following Jurrassic Park ... but sassy, intelligent movies dotted the 90's thanks to this.

1992 also saw the resurrection of a hollywood god. Like a pheonix from the flames, Clint Eastwood turned director for 'Unforgiven' ... times they are achanging... back again.

1992 saw the arrival also of 'The Player' - hollywood poking serious fun at itself, and of course Malcolm X ...

And finally, Sarah Stone made the world gasp in Basic Instinct (yes, it really was 18 years ago!) ... remember this is pre-interweb, so that kinda porn was hard to come by...

COMPUTER GAMES

The Amiga, Atari ST and Super Nintendo were pumping out games ten to the dozen. By 1992 turned me into a PC game player forever more... a watershed year when the following genres were invented:

RTS (Real Time Strategy) games - Dune 2: Battle for Arrakis (1992)



FPS (First Person Shooter) games - Wolfenstein 3D (1992)



... and the hugely influential Starwars beast rolled into the gaming arena with X-wing (1992)...



GAMES WORKSHOP

1992 was also the year when Games Workshop started to seriously rethink their models. Outside the Space Marines, many of the modelling was amateurish and a little (read lot) kooky! The modelling for th model below says it all ... may I present Commissar Yarrick:

Curtosy of Tin Weasel...

I actually have this model ... rediscovered in the 1992 horde - and I can say that it is one of the most ugly, silly and fanciful models going. Unfortunately for GW, this model reflected a great deal of their 'old-school' stock... but things were about to change. The Commissar hats were ALL enormous - twice the size of their heads! The uniforms were stupid too, with big sleeves and scarfs about their waists ... who designed these monstrosities?

Thanks to the Guard a new era of 'realism' was incoming. Yes the Mordian's were silly and the Catachans are a bit daft. But the other soldiers were dynamic, realistic and well designed. My personal favourite were (and thanks to Ciaphas Cain) and still are the Valhallans.

I'd completely forgotten they were still knocking about in this box. Complete with a copyright 1992 on the bottom. The level of detail on the models is goregous, their packs are practical and well fitted and their clothes have a real dynamism and movement to them. All in all, I'm proud to have them on board with my Imperial Guard.

The RoughRiders less so...

Old School Commissar Yarrick ... not much.

And the Squats? What the hell does one do with Squats? Answers on a postcard...

Light Relief: The Adventures of Commissar Tighthead #1

Commissar Tighthead #1: Why Tyranids are so hard to fight...

Is it a Tervigon, Trygon, Mawloc, Carnifex or Tyrant ...
problems of identifying big bugs... Click for the 800/600 frame.

When is an Ogyrn an Ogre-in? GW Pronounciation Problems Solved

Name that Ogyrn: go here to take part!

First question: how do you pronounced Ogyrn?

Is it 'Or-groin' or 'Ogre-in' or 'Og-girn'? Or another version..?

In Japanese it would get particularly confusing. A quick search on the interweb later and I have the official response. By selecting 'Japanese' as my identity on the GW website, I've traversed through and therefore found the following link: http://jp.games-workshop.com/resources/wh40k/imperialguard09.htm which might make you smile.

It appears that the Japanese have downloadable version of all the codici in PDF format ... how obliging of GW. More importantly if you happen to download this PDF, you have the complete army list.

Luckily for me, I speak fluent Japanese, and have a passable reading skills. The reason why this is important is that Japanese is majoritively a 'phonetic' language. This means that the way GW translates Ogyrn etc in Japanese tells us exactly how it 'should' be pronounced - according to GW...

Therefore I pronounce the following:

• Ogyrn: O-Gu-RIN - ie: O'grin.
• Lasgun: RA-Su-GAN - 'lahsgun' (not lays-gun)
• Leman Russ: RE-MAN RASU - Layman Russ (Not Leeman Russ)
  
• Chimera: KI-ME-RA - ki'mera (not Kai'mera - which is weird!)

Now the above isn't fullproof, since some sounds (like V) don't exist in Japanese and others (like L and R) are the same sound in Japanese - I was in Japan in 1997, and this led to many 'hilarious' questions about 'Tony Brairs Erection' - honest!

This is just from the Imperial Guard list ... if you have any other 'pronounciation' questions for Eldar, Tau or Orks - just give me a shout.